Sometimes I write about my experience during my spiritul practice (daily meditation). For what they may be worth during your spiritual journey, following are a collection of random writings.

April 2007

Calm, relaxed, quietened and collected. Active mind moving towards dull and sleepy mind after 15 or so minutes

Thought patterns emerged in this practice session. Does a tree begin as a forest? I was provided with insight into how we – ‘humans’ – are like nature in our development towards latter stages of consciousness. Just as a seed begins to grown and pushes through the earth into a single tree trunk, so do ‘humans’. A tree is a forest – depending on your view. Look closely at a tree and you only see its trunk – especially when it is young. As it grows it branches out – in a pattern that is unique to the tree and as a result of environmental factors. As it spreads out to include many branches, sub-branches and twigs and leaves – it continues to grow. The upper branches of the tree begin to connect with the lower canopy of the forest – just as our consciousness grows and diversifies and connects into the collective universal experience. And as the tree continues to grow is becomes interwoven intermeshed and ’one’ with the canopy of the forest – continuing to push through to open up beyond the canopy … to the next layer of the canopy. So it is with the human consciousness … growing, connecting, interconnecting and blending with the one spirit that is all life.

March 2007

Active minds, moments of clarity and focus. A felt a sense of peace during this practices

My mind began by asking me and reminding me that I had to practice ‘right’. My ego was trying to take control of the practice to do it the way it should be done. Then I started to thing about the moments of transformation in my life and the time I spend with Susanne Cook-Greuter in August last year. How I was seeking to find the answers so that I could move on … where?… to my next transition point. But, each moment is a transition point … motion form one point in time to the next. Every moment is a transition and a point of growth and broader awareness. But I miss it – focusing on what I need to do … to achieve. The present – full of amazing awareness, solitude, companionship, self compassion and collective respect. The past has meaning as it helps explain the present – just as the future has meaning as a way of contextualising the present. But the most important moment is right now, and now, and now. It is in the writing of these words, for example, that I have made a connection between being present and loving myself. It is by being present that I am showing myself that I respect me, love me, want to be with me. And it is through doing so that I open myself up to the world.

February 2007

Interrupted, uncomfortable, active mind

I sat comfortably this evening - as though my muscles are beginning to get used to sitting still for 20 odd minutes again. The groin muscles are a little weak and shake after a period. My mind was restless this evening - flitting backwards and forwards from one thought to another. As I tried to corral it into thinking about the breath it would then start another thought, if only brief. There were moments where it felt as though I was experiencing pure consciousness. But the turbulence of my waking mind over the past few days - I am sure others have noticed - mean that these moments were brief. Why are you feeling disconnected? I have made a choice but have not yet acted. I am skirting around the essence of my mission. To be - to act - to provide - to guide. I feel as though my unconscious soul is tapping on the edge of reason - of my consciousness - wanting to provide me with some of the answers I need. But do I really need these answers? Or is it just my ego trying to maintain control over me. Am I being closed minded to the limitless possibilities? Sometimes it feels that way - and indeed these were some of the thoughts that arose as I sat. I know what I am avoiding - but why? Let go, to gain control. I know this, but it is difficult. But why does it need to be difficult - this is just your ego talking. What does your Silent Witness say - the observer that ponders you with no judgment and only loving kindness, support and unrelenting faith in who you are. Let go, let go, let go. Release yourself to what already is. Release yourself to what has already been. No fear, only wisdom, loving kindness and the way. Peace. Silence.